So this past Friday it was my birthday and for the first time in the last few years I wasn't dreading it. I decided that I needed to do something to actually celebrate and enjoy it. And enjoy it I did! I have my best friend Lisy to really thank for that and of course my mom. Friday was mostly a dinner and some cupcakes and time with most of my family. It was joyous and made me feel quite happy. Then Saturday the party continued due to Lisy's planning and I had an amazing time having drinks, playing games, and dancing most of the night. What better way to celebrate a birthday? It made me feel goood spending time with the people I love most.
But what makes this birthday important for me is not only that I no longer dreaded it but it brought along an acceptance that no matter how old I get I will never really change and I will be the same girl who likes to stay home, play video games, write stories, binge watch my favorite shows and fan girl over my faves with no shame at all. Why should I be ashamed? I always joke that I don't adult well. Disregard the bad grammar there but it makes sense. I work, pay my bills, enjoy having drinks, and other adult perks.
But I also really enjoy playing my Xbox and goofing off on GTA Online, fangirling over my favorite actresses, singers and shows, and buying collectibles which others would probably call toys. They're not toys. I don't play with them, they get displayed. And you know what I'm not ashamed of that. Right now I want to figure out a way to go to a One Tree Hill convention because I fucking love that show and want to meet my fave stars who made it special to me. Bethany Joy Lenz mostly because she is my fave actress and Haley is my fave character. And James Lafferty for being the second half of my OTP Naley. Anyway, the point being that being an adult to me is getting to enjoy life the way you want it (not in an illegal way mind you) without anyone telling you no. As long as it doesn't get in the way of my responsibilities who cares how I spend my free time.
So my birthday this year really I actually felt confident in my age. I'm still single, no kids, and I hope one day it will happen, but until then I am happy doing what I want, how I want it with no worries or shame for it. Do I sometimes feel like I should grow up a bit more. Sure, but I am pretty damn mature when I need to be and need to let loose to get rid of the stress of my responsibilities. It's just how I am and I'm okay with that. Now if I could work on my self-confidence and self-esteem I will truly reach complete happiness in myself.
Until next time.
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