Poetry Corner: Guarded Heart

My heart has been torn countless times

My strength is all that keeps me alive

I mostly hide myself behind a thick wall

Guarding myself because I’m so afraid to fall

People ask why I’m always so guarded

I say it’s better than being broken-hearted

The tears that used to fall are now completely dry

The feeling of sorrow will no longer shine in my eyes

From now on, I’m the only one I can count on

It no longer hurts when someone is gone

It may seem self-destructive and make me seem cold

But in order to not hurt again I have to be bold

I’m not sure if true love for me exists

If I stick to that belief, it’ll be easy to resist

After all my heartbreak I’ve come to a sad conclusion

Maybe love is just a foolish illusion

I don’t long for kisses or anyone’s touch

‘Cause with it comes pain that hurts too damn much

I’ve come to accept to not fear being alone

I’m no longer afraid of being on my own

I used to think only with my heart

But that was before it was brutally torn apart

I felt so disillusioned that I thought it would never end

It felt like it took forever for my heart to mend

I’ve finally found the peace that I would always seek

No longer do I walk around looking and feeling so weak

I’ve overcome all the pain I could no longer bare

I’ve realized I’m the only one who’ll ever really care

Lately I find myself pushing people away

I no longer listen to what they have to say

With everyone I'll live civilly and always do my part

But to protect myself from pain I will always have a guarded heart

(Written by me 11/08/05)